


Nothing Compares 2 U

by IvanW



Series: Song Inspired Fics [10]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Break Up, Established Relationship, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Romance, Song fic, Tarsus IV references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:09:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23082994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvanW/pseuds/IvanW
Summary: It's been seven hours and fifteen days.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Series: Song Inspired Fics [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1487456
Comments: 24
Kudos: 183





	Nothing Compares 2 U

Spock sat in the corner of the seedy establishment feeling about as numb as he ever could these days. It was said that common alcohol had not much effects on Vulcans, so he had sought out uncommon alcohol, and Spock was unsure if that was the reason he felt so numb, because they were unusual forms, or if it got through because of his half-Human half. Whatever the case, Spock was currently on his tenth glass of a burning blue liquid.

His vision wasn’t quite what it normally would be, but he still spotted Nyota enter from across the room. He watched her gaze sweep across the patrons, some of who had the nerve to leer at her, but they quickly looked away when confronted by her intimidating stare, and land on him. When she reached him, he saw the determination on her face.

“Spock, I’ve been looking for you.”

He didn’t tell her to sit, but she did anyway.

She grimaced as her hand gestured to the bottle and glass in front of him. “This isn’t like you.”

Spock took another drink and then refilled his glass.

“You smell. When was the last time you bathed?”

“I do not know.”

“Spock, I think you need to go to the doctor.”

Spock shrugged. “I went to see McCoy. He was not helpful.”

_“Where is he?” Spock demanded._

_Leonard exhaled and looked at Spock as he leaned against the counter in his kitchen. “Look, Spock, I don’t…”_

_Despair welled up within him. “You won’t tell me?”_

_“I don’t know where Jim is. And that’s the absolute truth. If I did know, I’m not sure I’d tell you, but the God’s honest truth is, he’s not…I don’t know. He hasn’t contacted me.”_

_“But you are his best friend, why wouldn’t he tell you?”_

_“He doesn’t want to be found, obviously. I don’t have any answers for you, Spock. I don’t know where this is coming from any more than you do. I’m gobsmacked too.”_

_Spock took this in. “Is he…would he harm himself?”_

_“I don’t think he would. But I don’t know what prompted this. Where it’s coming from.”_

_Spock hung his head. “He ended things. Between us.”_

_“I know,” Leonard said, softly. “I never would have imagined that, Spock. I thought…I mean he had a thing for you for so long, I just thought it would last forever.”_

_“I did too.”_

_“I am sure you don’t want my advice, but here it is. You have to move on. Forget about him. Love isn’t enough sometimes. I don’t know why, but it isn’t. Jim’s doing what he wants to do and you should too.”_

“He is a fool,” Spock told Nyota. “I can hardly forget my…my t’hy’la.”

“But Spock. It’s been…”

“Fifteen days and seven hours.” Spock nodded. “I am aware. I have been out every night. And I sleep most of the day.”

“Spock…” Her communicator beeped. She glanced at it. Frowned. “That’s…how strange.”

“What?” Spock asked, despite himself.

“Scotty said he’s located the captain.”

Spock straightened and snatched the communicator out of her hand.

“Spock!”

The blood in Spock’s veins froze. “Tarsus,” he whispered.

“That’s what I don’t understand,” Nyota said. “Why would he be on Tarsus?”

“I must go there and find him.”

“What? But Spock…”

Spock got up, swaying slightly. Nyota was up in an instant, holding on to him.

“Then all of us are going.”

Spock frowned at her. “All of us?”

As he looked past her, he saw standing just beyond her was their crew. Sulu, Chekov, Jaylah, Mr. Scott, himself, and Keenser. And…McCoy.

Spock gave a sharp nod and allowed Nyota to help him from the bar.

****

Jim sat in the middle of a field of wildflowers. At least that’s what it appeared to be at first glance. But upon closer scrutiny, ruins of a building could be seen around the area. Signs of scorched wood. The barest scent of death lingered.

He was dressed in tattered, ripped faded jeans and an old Starfleet Academy T-shirt that was stained with coffee and had definitely seen better days. His hair stood on end and he had a beard with traces of gray throughout. Spock ached.

He took a step forward.

Nyota touched his arm. “You want us to come with you?”

Spock shook his head. “I think it will be easier for him with just me.” He glanced at McCoy, ready for an argument, but was gladdened when none seemed forthcoming.

They’d discovered that Jim had been a survivor of Tarsus IV. And considering recent events, well…

Spock walked away from the beam down point and up the hill to the field where Jim sat. Only the slight turn of his head indicated to Spock that Jim was aware of his presence. He approached cautiously, looking around at the ruins, as he sat on the ground beside his captain, his lover, his t’hy’la.

“What are you doing here?”

“I love you,” Spock said, simply. “And you love me. Do you not?”

Jim blew out a breath. “Yeah. But it doesn’t change anything.”

“I agree. It does not. We belong together.”

Jim shook his head. “I’m so messed up. You deserve better.”

“I cannot agree.” Spock looked around. “This is where you lived?”

“Uh-huh. Before it was burned down by the soldiers. Back then, there was no life left here. None at all.” He reached over and stroked the petal of a flower. “They…after all this…what happened here…they’re going to colonize it again.”

“I saw the reports,” Spock acknowledged. “That was your trigger?”

“I guess. It’s just, has it even been long enough? What if the same shit happens all over again? They say it won’t, but there’s still so much no one knows. How can they bring lives here and start it all over again?”

“They have concluded it’s safe.”

“It’s not,” Jim whispered.

“Will you come back with me? With us?”

Jim looked at him and then beyond the field. “Us?”

“Our family came with me. We all miss you.” Spock paused. “I miss you most of all.”

“Maybe you should just forget me.”

“Impossible. Nothing and no one compares to you.” Spock hesitated, thinking of what Jim had said before he left Spock. “If you do not welcome a bond between us, I will do without one.”

Jim shook his head. “But you shouldn’t have to. You need one, right?”

“What I need is you, Jim. Anything else is meaningless. A bond with someone else is not acceptable. I will manage without one.”

“Spock…”

“Living with you is sometimes hard,” Spock admitted softly. “You are plagued by nightmares, you are restless, emotional, impetuous, argumentative, and you steal the covers even when you are warm and throw them on the floor.” He took possession of Jim’s hand, pressing their palms together. “But living without you is impossible.”

Jim sighed. Threaded his fingers with Spock’s. “I do love you. More than I should. Sometimes you’re all that keeps me sane.”

“Then come with me and return to our family. Whatever happens here, you will have no part.”

Spock stood and pulled Jim to his feet, pulling him very close, and holding him there.

“Tarsus is always a part of me, though. Somewhere.” Jim drew back and kissed Spock. “Thank you for coming for me.”

“I will always come for you.”

They turned as one and walked down from the field of flowers and ruins to return home. 


End file.
